it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
