dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize