But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
