Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
