you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
