i don't like sucking hair
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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