And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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