Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
