That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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