He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
