he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
