Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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