Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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