You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
