I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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