it wasn't lemon gatorade
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize