Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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