You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
