drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
