I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
