She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
