She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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