I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
