an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
