And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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