You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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