i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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