So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
