My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
