Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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