i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
