I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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