I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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