If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
