and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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