"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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