I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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