Don't make out with my wife yet
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
