38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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