Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
