Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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