i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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