dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
