She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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