Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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