we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i've created a new STD.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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