She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
