They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
