Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize