She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
