So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
