I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
