That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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