she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
