im drinking this country out of the recession.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
